Irrational Encounters With The Modern World

Glasgow Subway Ideas Rarely See Daylight.

I love the Subway, our Clockwork Orange, but they keep making the most incomprehensible changes to it. You can read dozens of the proposed ones here, most of them are contradictory or in the end came to nothing.

Our Subway runs from 6am until 11pm, give or take, except on a Sunday when it opens from 10am until 6pm. This is 2012, and the transport system in the centre of Glasgow is closed before the shops shut on a weekend shopping day. When they announce investment and improvement, the opening hours are never even mentioned for negotiation. They put in anti-terror bollards (to stop cars from driving down the escalators, but if you have a bomb in your backpack you’ll still get through); they planned to put in queue-beating Oyster-style ticketing as used in London, even though nobody has ever seen a queue on the Glasgow Subway, ever. Unless there was a match on at Ibrox, in which case A) who cares, let them queue, and B) Rangers are sinking fast anyway.

They are presently doing up all the stations, covering over the much-loved characteristic brick platforms with sterile white nondescript panelling, but still if you work in town on a Sunday you can’t use the Subway to get to your job if it starts before 10am. They recently said on Twitter that they’ve upgraded their website, as if that’s of any use to anybody living in this city and reliant on public transport that is closed when you need it. I noticed today, too, that they have done away with the bright yellow and orange posters listing the stations, and replaced them with generic, stylised, arty black and white and grey versions, which sit on the wall and blend into the adverts between which they sit – making them really difficult to spot at first glance. This is the kind of backward thinking that makes me hate Glasgow.

Most absurd of all, though, was the trial of late-night opening – when they remained shut. In order for the Subway to trial a night-time service, they closed the stations as normal and subcontracted the First Bus company to make all the same stops by road instead – which took longer, and cost more for a ticket, confusing the utter fuck out of everybody. Same stops, different prices, different method of transport entirely. The scheme flopped, unsurprisingly, and they used that to justify staying closed at night time. They want money and investment, but they’re not prepared to do the obvious thing that would encourage people to use their service: make it useful.

But at least the shiny white stations, with the upmarket ticket machines and silver steel bollards blocking the pavement outside, make it look like it might be functional.

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