Irrational Encounters With The Modern World

The Best Bus-Stop I Ever Stood At.

This happened a wee while ago, but is another encounter that has stayed with me for its inherent silliness (in part) and for the humour demonstrated by fellow citizens of my favourite city.

I was on Union Street, as I recall, one dark night about 10 or 11pm, waiting at a bus stop. It was cold enough that I was standing with my back to whatever shop was behind me, arms folded for warmth, and late enough that the buses were running relatively infrequently. As I was waiting, a girl came staggering up the street towards me, swaying from side to side and trying desperately hard to keep her chips-and-cheese balanced in one hand while spilling lots of it with the other. I stepped back, to give her plenty of room to pass. The way she was zig-zagging up the pavement, she needed space to maneouvre.

“Are you a bouncer?” she slurred as she passed. I replied in the negative. As a general rule, they don’t hire bouncers to stand at deserted bus stops. Furthermore, as I discovered shortly afterwards, I was standing outside a dark and very closed branch of a high street opticians. In hindsight, I wish I had told her that yes, I was a bouncer, and then refused her entry to the shut Specsavers – just to see what she would do.

At this point, a small group of guys came down the street, as two girls were walking up the street across the road. This exchange was beautiful, purely for being so unexpected and, therefore, funny.

One of the guys wolf-whistled at the girls. One of the girls looked across, and the guy shouted “No’ you, yer pal!”

Haha, cheeky bastard! 😀




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